Lets just be honest – dealing with a person who has PTSD day in and day out is a pain in the a**!! Today I am at my wits end! Always having to be “on” to smooth out the bumps in our relationship is stressful but then add in the kids when they don’t understand why Daddy is mad for no reason … it’s a bit much some days!
Don’t get me wrong – I love my husband and I am not leaving him. I am just stating a fact: I am frustrated beyond it all today. Over the last 3 years I have learned something that has helped me more than anything and today is the day I want share it. Maybe it will help you.
Here goes — you have to learn when to say “WHEN” for yourself. No one can draw that line for you. I realized that by doing that I am actually helping my husband! I know you are thinking I am crazy but its actually true. The better shape I am in the better I can help my husband. The point is this when I am frustrated and burnt out without relief I am impatient, make poor relationship decisions with my husband and really, I aggravate my husbands anxiety.
So I have come to the conclusion that when I can’t take it anymore I have to take an immediate break. I cancel all my appointments, call in sick to work if it’s a weekday, get a babysitter and completely rearrange my entire life and go spend that day (or the very next day) at the day spa — ALL DAY. No cell phone, no email, no social media – I mean none absolutely none – no one but ME. I buy my favorite food and coffee, grab that book I have been dying to read and I take it all with me to the day spa. The girls have a frig & a microwave in the employee break room and they gladly help me. I spend the ENTIRE day at the spa. I get a deep tissue massage with hot rocks, go into the steam room for 30 minutes, have an acupuncture treatment and get a manicure & a pedicure. Of course I have to save money in advance for this and I always make sure I have my stash so it is there when I need it.
I have to tell you that the better I take care of myself the better I am for my husband. On the airplane they do tell us if the oxygen mask drops put it on yourself first and then help the kids! The same rule applies here.
What is your #1 tip for releasing the pressure for yourself when you’ve had it?